Missed the fucking point, bro

I just heard the worst song I've probably ever heard. It's by this band, Theory Of A Deadman. I don't know what it was called, I heard it on.. ugh.. rock radio. I should probably point out that I listen to NPR if I'm listening to the radio. Failing that, I'm usually listening the Michael Baysden show, slow jam R&B, or our totally fucking badass independent radio station 88.1 KDHX. But NOT rock radio. Not modern rock, not classic rock, fucking none of it. Because it sucks. Bad.

There are no good bands that are getting airplay on modern rock radio, and I mean fucking NONE. And classic rock radio needs to get some new fucking classic rock. It's the same 25 fucking bands and they only play the singles. AC/DC had tons of killer songs, and yet, if you listened to classic rock radio, you would think all they ever did was "Back In Black", "You Shook Me All Night Long", and maybe "TNT".

Anyway, that's besides the point.

Theory Of A Deadman. Some fucking stupid song. The lyrics begin with this crazy awesome proclamation of defiance against this modern society we live in (presented here as best as I can remember them):

I can't stand homeless people
always askin' for change
I've gotta work while
they sit on their ass and get paid

Woah dude! You just fucking blew my mind! Especially since you HAVE TO GIVE HOMELESS PEOPLE CHANGE! It's like the fucking law or something. And you nailed that part, Theory Of A Deadman, nailed that part where homeless people make MAD BANK! I mean, it's like, they could get houses from all the money they were making, but then they would stop raking in all that fuckin' jack, you know? Because it's like, you're busting your ass and only making enough to afford a gram of crystal meth a week, and those homeless guys just sit around, hands out, and collectively account for at least 35% of the wealth IN THE WORLD. They would rock mad Escalades and Cristal and bitches, but doing so would cut into their homeless dude profits.

There are also several other mind-boggling assertions that piss this dude (who sounds like the singer from every motherfucking band on the radio right now) right the fuck off, including how he's married, how he fucks too many underage girls, and how women don't like to be sexually harassed. And then, he invites you, yes YOU, the humble listener, if -and only if- you feel like he does, put your middle fingers up and... do something. I think sing along. Because, let's face it, we all are totally pissed that our wives don't like it when we fuck too many underage girls, or when we squeeze on random girls' asses and they don't appreciate it. I mean, what the fuck, right?

I realize that these things I've described are probably the modus operandi of every modern rock band out there right now, and my lack of exposure to them betrays me as the out of touch dorkus that I am. I also realize that it's pretty absurd for me, a guy whose favorite song used to be "Stripped Raped And Strangled", to be offended by lyrics.. but I am. That's life for you. I will happily listen to songs about rape, torture, and murder, because those songs are tongue in cheek and there's no way anyone could take their shit seriously. It's like a Nightmare On Elm Street movie with distortion. But shit like this Theory Of A Deadman bullshit, that's real. These raging assholes drip with sincerity, and it fucking bums me out, big time. I bet these guys are really popular, too. Because society loves a clown, especially gravelly voiced bromo clown with serious bedhead and permanent 5 o'clock shadow.